9-21-07
Ahhh...back to school, right? Golden days, crisp nights, the glory of autumn... But wait! There's more!! More of everything! More math, more reading, more homework, more research papers and art projects and science experiments and history books and test taking. More colds and flu and runny noses, more ear infections, more pediatrician appointments, more prescriptions to pick up, more garlic to dice up (its a natural antibiotic, y'know?), more lotion-coated-tissues. More classes & programs & meetings & conferences & chauffeuring & tanks of three-dollar-a-gallon-gasoline.
And there are less of things too. Less time in the morning for conversation or breakfast, less of the family time we enjoyed in the summer, less of the sleep I thought I needed, less time with my husband to talk or laugh or connect or kiss. And less money, of course, 'cause of all those "more" things.
Which brings us to our far-more honest, slang-term for autumn: FALL. Maybe your family thrives at this time of year. Maybe you all love the sudden onset of busy schedules and hectic pace and frantic, unfulfilled groping in the night that fizzles out with a headache or a snore. But for me, this time of year just feels like I'm FALLing.
Sure, I love the golden days and the crisp nights, the smokey "vacation-land" smell of home fires burning. But I'm just so darned burned-out myself I can hardly appreciate it all! Summer always creeps up on me...the slowly simmering heat, the lazy days, ahhh... But in September, it seems like autumn just FALLs on me, crushing me with the sudden onslaught of extra responsibilities and expenses. I look around for my husband and find that he is equally squashed under the weight of the FALL schedule and budget and expectations.
But then I remember..."oh yeah...I felt this way last year too..." And I remember that it got better. October rolls around and the new schedule begins to feel like comfortable routine. I somehow figure out how to take a morning stroll again, little boys tucked & cozy in the double stroller, and the sky is so blue! The base of Pikes Peak is dotted with the first of golden Aspens, glinting and shimmering in the crisp breeze...ahhh!
So I'm going to get up from my FALLen place now. I'm going to dust myself off, and launch back into the crazy-busy schedule, and think of ways to tweak it so that we all have a bit more peace, and time, and margin. And I'm going to hug the kids extra hard, and say I'm sorry for being so crabby, and go searching for my husband.
Maybe I'll find him buried under a pile of leaves...or bills...but we'll find one another. Perhaps we'll take a walk, and hold hands, and carve out a moment for a kiss. Then the autumn moon will glint in my eyes, and I'll forget about my headache, and he'll remind me that this was the season, 15 years ago, of FALLing in love. And maybe, just maybe, I'll FALL all over again, in a new, beautiful, golden, shimmering, vacation-land way.
