I'm learning to get on my face in prayer.
It's a positional thing: on my knees, back curved, face to the ground, small.
And it's a heart thing: submitted, humbled, grateful, trusting.
Sounds all holy & pious, but the truth is, my back hurts. I'm so not kidding. My lower back has been killing me. 'Cause praying on my knees, bent over in a posture of submissive trust, is working a whole slew of 41-years-flabby muscles. And these prayer-muscles are gonna need some serious practice to get in shape.
Webster defines 'practice' as "repeated action for gaining skill." Which pretty much sums up life...and prayer...and the whole blogging thing, too. I mean, if you're blogging, you're probably practicing writing, or photography, or speaking, (or something), in hopes of gaining skill to eventually get published, or produced, or just turn the words into actual income-producing-potential.
So the whole practice-thing means I sure don't have this skill mastered, right? It means I'm still learning, still unfinished, still stumbling around trying to find balance between vulnerability and truth and not making an absolute donkey of myself. Are you following?
Therefore, patient reader...ummm...can we just pass off that last post as...ahem... a pooped-out practice session? (No, I'm not linking to it, 'cause, duh, I don't want you to go back & read the flailing, guilt-laden, over-tired words posted there, 'kay?) Just trust me, it was awkward; "lame on so many levels," as my usually-encouraging, but sometimes brutally-honest husband tells me.
The thing I'm realizing is, I've gotta practice all these spiritual gifts I'm longing for. I think of myself as this generally grateful, optimistic person...but then, come-to-find-out, I'm pretty lame at the whole practice of gratitude. I definitely need to work out my thankful-muscles.
Which brings me back to putting my ingrate-face to the ground in prayer.
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Side Note:
For the last eight years I've been hugely blessed to be a part of this incredible group of people called the 'Creative Arts Team.' We're just a small group of moderately normal (okay, maybe not-so-normal) people who happen to have a weird bent for all kinds of creative ideas. As in artsy-fartsy artists & sculptors, singers & musicians, dancers & actors, wide-lens-visionaries, dreamers, and rule-breakers, every one of us. That whole 'outta-the-box' phrase you've heard? Well, a couple of these folks are so far outta the box they're in, like, an alternate universe. Which is so, so stinkin' cool to be a part of.
Anyway. This group has the scary & fabulous job of helping our worship pastor, Todd, brainstorm & create all kinds of outta-the-box worship experiences. We get to pour our hearts into a 'Creative Service' about once a quarter. Which means we dig into scripture, pray, dream, analyze, press in to the Holy Spirit for inspiration...on one subject, for several weeks in a row. It is Church, just the process, in itself.
Life transforming.
Heart healing.
Soul sifting.
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Several weeks ago we did a 'Creative Service' that culminated in getting the entire church body on their knees, praying, worshiping, bowing in humble gratitude before our mighty Creator-God. And God showed up, softly-speaking, tender-leading, drawing me into the positional practice & heart practice of getting on my face in prayer.
He showed me how to bend the knees, and I'll never be the same.
Make me small, Lord, that Your Greatness would shine through.
What I'm learning, above-&-beyond getting my stinkin' proud face into a position of dirt-on-the-forehead humility, is that seeking Him takes practice.
'Cause maybe you pray on your knees all the time, but me? I tend to pray on-the-fly; when I'm brushing my teeth, and in the shower, driving the kids 'round town, taking the stairs two-at-a-time on my way to break up some sibling squabble... Sure, there are the morning devotion prayers, and the mealtime blessings, and bedtime prayers. But really, really focusing my heart on worship and gratitude and confession and communion with my Abba? Wasn't happening much.
So it takes practice. And training these new prayer-muscles is painful. It's been weeks, and still, I practice. How do I learn to be humble? I practice the position of humility. How do I learn gratitude? I practice the dutiful art of expressing thanks. How do I learn to trust? I practice letting go. And I practice. And practice. And practice...
"And let us not grow weary in well doing..." - Galations 6:9
Anything you need to practice on? Got any practice-muscles sore from obeying His Call?
