Conflict happens.
And it will keep happening. Forever more, until the day I die, conflicts will arise in my relationships.
No matter how hard I try to please everyone, and keep the peace (I know, I know; still working my way outta this particular rut)...I'll end up hurting someone else's feelings, or get my own feelings tromped on.
With increased intimacy comes increased possibility of conflict. Which means - I will likely have more conflict in my marriage, than any other human relationship.
Seems depressing, doesn't it? The one relationship we so long to be even-keel, steady, secure, safe...will be rife with disappointment, hurt feelings, anger, resentment, conflict.
So - Kevin & I hit a major conflict this past weekend. We pretty much did everything wrong, and all our marital-workout tools amounted to not much more than aching muscles & hurt feelings. All the sage advice to think before speaking went right out the window, as did the idea to never let the sun go down on your anger. Ha. When the sun went down, our anger was just barely getting warmed up! We finally hit the boiling point at about four o'clock in the morning.
It. was. ugly.
Monday was ugly,
Tuesday was ugly,
up thru this morning,
and we still couldn't seem to get over it.
Kevin called me this afternoon with a pretty great apology. Actually, a really great one - right in the midst of my girl's group - which made it even more of a tear-jerker. Seriously, it was one for the history books, my friends.
And yet - even after the cell-phone-repentance...I've still had trouble getting over it.
In the midst of the frustration, and without some tied-up-with-a-ribbon happy-ending - I decided to share the journey with you all. Here ya' go...
So, I'm discovering a really important lesson. Way more important than trying to avoid disagreement, and leagues ahead of keeping the peace...
when the inevitable conflict hits, I've gotta be willing to
Get. Over. It.
So how are you dealing with those inevitable marital conflicts? What's happening with your marital fitness this week?
